A Mixed Bag

Well.....things sure have been crazy lately! Some things good, some bad, and some will have to wait and see.

On a triumphant note, I've lost 13 pounds so far! I've been really dedicated, super strict on what I'll eat, and moving a lot more! It's paying off though, I'm officially 3 weeks into my new "lifestyle" and have lost 10 pounds over my projected goal of 1 pound a week. I'm starting to notice how things fit better and people around me say that I'm looking thinner (thank God)! I definitely couldn't be doing this for nothing! And while I'm proud of my achievement, I still have a very long way to go.

My computer tried to bite the dust last Saturday. I was trying to download a few pics from my camera, and the USB port was corrupted (thank you T and L for shoving whatever you can find into it!). Anyway, I encountered what computer experts call "the blue screen of death". It is almost a guarantee that you've lost everything and I was distraught! All of my digital pics of the kids were on there from the last 2 years and it gave me a sick feeling to think I had lost them (because, yes, I was the only IDIOT that didn't have an external hard drive with a back-up of my important stuff). Luckily, one of my very treasured friends (props to Peejay) is married to an amazing computer genius (Jeff, your my hero)! Anyway, after working on my computer for an undisclosed amount of time, he was able to write new code to get back in, and then fix the error (I still can't believe that he was able to do it, another indication of just what a genius he is!). I still haven't had a chance to go back and get my computer, but I should be up and running again by later this week (this entry comes to you from my lovely computer at work). So, please excuse any tardy emails for now. The morale of the story is get an external hard drive and back-up your stuff! Please don't make my mistake and end up sorry! And if you ever need a computer whiz, give me a call and I can get you his number (again, Jeff, your my HERO!)!

The kids are all doing great! L is really starting to talk, and her personality is emerging more and more. T is still firmly cemented in the terrible two's, and it's a constant struggle to keep her in line. C is doing excellent in school, both his reading and math are way above grade level. All the kids went down to Laguna Beach with M last weekend and had a great time visiting their birth-grandparents and family. They were completely spoiled with presents and attention, just like it should be. I'm so lucky to have them in my life!

I also was down in OC last weekend, but instead, in HB to visit my family. I had a great time like always, family seems to make life so much better! I stayed up late with my cousins and chatted about anything and everything, went to the movies (saw Slumdog Millionaire), and was even able to stay on my diet! It was a nice break from the kids, and I was able to recharge my batteries.

M and I continue to struggle. I'm really not sure where things are headed from here. He seems to be having some trouble getting past some of our differences, and I'm not sure anymore that we will be able to work it out. I'm also worried that I could be chasing a rainbow that doesn't end, wondering if the pot of gold is really just a myth. I think that maybe I'm in love with what was, not what's based in actual reality. I'm willing to try, I'm willing to make sacrifices, but not if it is a lost cause. We are seeing a marriage counselor later this week, so I might get a little more insight by then. Please keep praying for us, whatever the outcome may be. I truly love M and really do want this to work out.

That's about it. I'm hanging in, and thankful for the friends, family and good things I do have. Thanks again for reading, and all of your support!