A Mixed Bag

Well.....things sure have been crazy lately! Some things good, some bad, and some will have to wait and see.

On a triumphant note, I've lost 13 pounds so far! I've been really dedicated, super strict on what I'll eat, and moving a lot more! It's paying off though, I'm officially 3 weeks into my new "lifestyle" and have lost 10 pounds over my projected goal of 1 pound a week. I'm starting to notice how things fit better and people around me say that I'm looking thinner (thank God)! I definitely couldn't be doing this for nothing! And while I'm proud of my achievement, I still have a very long way to go.

My computer tried to bite the dust last Saturday. I was trying to download a few pics from my camera, and the USB port was corrupted (thank you T and L for shoving whatever you can find into it!). Anyway, I encountered what computer experts call "the blue screen of death". It is almost a guarantee that you've lost everything and I was distraught! All of my digital pics of the kids were on there from the last 2 years and it gave me a sick feeling to think I had lost them (because, yes, I was the only IDIOT that didn't have an external hard drive with a back-up of my important stuff). Luckily, one of my very treasured friends (props to Peejay) is married to an amazing computer genius (Jeff, your my hero)! Anyway, after working on my computer for an undisclosed amount of time, he was able to write new code to get back in, and then fix the error (I still can't believe that he was able to do it, another indication of just what a genius he is!). I still haven't had a chance to go back and get my computer, but I should be up and running again by later this week (this entry comes to you from my lovely computer at work). So, please excuse any tardy emails for now. The morale of the story is get an external hard drive and back-up your stuff! Please don't make my mistake and end up sorry! And if you ever need a computer whiz, give me a call and I can get you his number (again, Jeff, your my HERO!)!

The kids are all doing great! L is really starting to talk, and her personality is emerging more and more. T is still firmly cemented in the terrible two's, and it's a constant struggle to keep her in line. C is doing excellent in school, both his reading and math are way above grade level. All the kids went down to Laguna Beach with M last weekend and had a great time visiting their birth-grandparents and family. They were completely spoiled with presents and attention, just like it should be. I'm so lucky to have them in my life!

I also was down in OC last weekend, but instead, in HB to visit my family. I had a great time like always, family seems to make life so much better! I stayed up late with my cousins and chatted about anything and everything, went to the movies (saw Slumdog Millionaire), and was even able to stay on my diet! It was a nice break from the kids, and I was able to recharge my batteries.

M and I continue to struggle. I'm really not sure where things are headed from here. He seems to be having some trouble getting past some of our differences, and I'm not sure anymore that we will be able to work it out. I'm also worried that I could be chasing a rainbow that doesn't end, wondering if the pot of gold is really just a myth. I think that maybe I'm in love with what was, not what's based in actual reality. I'm willing to try, I'm willing to make sacrifices, but not if it is a lost cause. We are seeing a marriage counselor later this week, so I might get a little more insight by then. Please keep praying for us, whatever the outcome may be. I truly love M and really do want this to work out.

That's about it. I'm hanging in, and thankful for the friends, family and good things I do have. Thanks again for reading, and all of your support!

Small Victories!

Well, it's been a week of big achievements in the Stikes household!

My middle daughter, Taylor, has mastered the potty at 2 years 8 months (it could have been done earlier, but hey, I've been busy already). She sleeps dry through the night and at naptime, too. Unfortunately, she now associates the bathroom with Starburst and Skittles candies, but maybe I can break her of that by the time she's five or so. Ha Ha!

Also, I've done very well with my new diet. I've lost an amazing 7 pounds in my first week. Yeah, I know that it's mostly water weight since I never used to drink enough, but I'm counting it anyway! I've sworn off anything fun: no white foods (breads, rice, pasta, potatoes) and just about anything that's processed. I'm only shopping on the outer edges of the supermarket now (fruits, vegetables, lean cut meats, and lowfat cheeses) to my kids dismay. I'm also staying away from alcohol since it's just wasted calories. And then I'm drinking enough water that would drown the average person! Truth be told, I'm not missing the sugars yet. Seeing the difference on the scale and in my clothes feels a lot better than anything could ever taste. So the score is 7 pounds lost this week (my first week), and I'm 6 pounds ahead of my goal so far!

On a more serious note, I've managed to survive one of the toughest weeks of my life. It's no surprise to anyone who knows me that my husband and I have had our share of problems these last few years. Well, things really came to a head last week, and I'm honestly still not sure how things are going to turn out. It seems that there are a lot of issues that I was unaware of, and I've realized that things aren't what I thought they were. I feel incredibly alone right now, but am surprisingly calm (or in total denial) about the entire situation. It's times like these that I am brought to admit just how much I miss my parents (no one can make the hurt better like your mom!). Anyway, I'm proud for coming through this as well as I have and know that whatever happens, I'll be okay.

That's about it for now. Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers, we certainly could use it. :o)

Gonna give this blogging thing a try!

Well, it's 2009 - a new year, and a new start (thank God since 2008 ended on such a crazy note). So, in the spirit of new beginnings, I'm going to try my hand at this blogging thing. I've been following a few of my good friends blogs for awhile now, and it's always appealed to me (esp. since I'm so into scrapbooking and preserving my families memories for the future). I can't promise how successful I'll be or how regularly I'll be able to post, but I promise to give it my best college try! Beware, I'm going to be honest, my language may sometimes be uncensored, and it may not always be appropriate for the faint of heart. This is my place to celebrate milestones, rant and rave about daily happenings, and sometimes ponder the deeper meaning of things. Read at your own risk!

Anyway, keeping with the theme of new beginnings, I also thought that I would post my new years resolutions for all the world to see (or at least the 3 people who are going to read this). Somehow it seems that if I make them public, I'm suddenly more accountable. So, here are my resolutions (or more correctly named "goals") for 2009.

• To create more beautiful things (sewing projects, scrapbook pages, crafts of the season, etc.). This is one of my biggest sources of joy (outside of my family) and I've decided to make more time for it in my life.
• To commit to writing everyone thank you notes! I always say a heartfelt "thank you", but a written note is so nice (esp. in a world where all the mail you get anymore is junk or bills).
• To keep better correspondence with my family and friends that live out of town (or out of state)! Whether it's by phone (good chance), email (good luck), or an old fashioned letter, I want to do better at keeping in touch with those that I truly care about.
• To lose 1 pound a week until my birthday (that's in September Y'all). I know that's a crazy goal, but I refuse to turn 40 years old unless I can do it as a "skinny bitch" as so many of my friends would say. I also am lucky enough to attend my dear cousin's wedding that same month, and I sure as heck will not be known as the fat cousin!
• To be a better wife and mom to my adorable family! I hope this year I will be able to praise more, criticize less, laugh at the small stuff (and big stuff too for that matter), and truly appreciate how good I really have it. No questions here, I have been blessed many times over!

So, that's about it (probably too much in fact). But I really want to do my best to keep every one! Keep me in your thoughts and prayers that I can accomplish this, and keep up with the blog (another great way to keep my out-of-towners up to date on what's going on in my life).

Here's to 2009, and the great things it may bring (a size 5 sounds great!)!